


those idle dreams go back to you

by nihilistporcupine



Category: Spring Snow - Yukio Mishima
Genre: Abortion, Doomed Love, F/M, Nobility, Poetry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-30
Updated: 2015-07-30
Packaged: 2018-04-12 03:01:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4463000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nihilistporcupine/pseuds/nihilistporcupine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He wants her and he can't have her. So it goes. — Kiyoaki/Satoko.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. some by sin rise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She was never yours to love.

All dreams must come to an end, you know this

Every meeting spent looking behind your backs is a constant reminder

That she was never yours to love

That in _fourthreetwo_ months, she will sip saké in a white kimono, Prince Harunori's hand in hers

An artful, painfully false smile plastered onto her face

( _It hurts, oh, Buddha, it hurts to think of this_ )

In the night he will caress her alabaster skin, watch it flush with arousal

Touch the all-too-secret places only you have penetrated

For now, though, there is ocean and salt and balmy air

Sand clinging to your naked limbs

You drink her in; night-sky hair, proud features softened in the moonlight, heavy-lidded eyes

And then you trail kisses down her collarbone and try to forget.


	2. others by virtue fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Better a life of false piety than a life of false devotion.

Up to the platform of surrender you go

Your crowning beauty (not cold metal that would have kissed your forehead)

Falls to the stone floor, and you know you are reborn

Your naked scalp feels vulnerable, exposed to the convent's dusty breeze for the first time

( _Is this how your baby felt when the physician ripped him from your womb?_ )

You know the destruction you've left in the wake of your hegira, coming to this place of stale peace

But you also recollect the way you were auctioned off the highest bidder, a man with more medals than courage

The sheer _horror_ in their gaze as they eyed your pregnant stomach

And you know that no matter how much they plead you will never go back

Better a life of false piety than one of false devotion

Better to pretend that Kiyaoki can fade away from your mind, eventually, like smoke

( _The abbess won't tell you that he died with your name on his lips_ )


	3. behind painted fans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Her eyes burn through you like cigarettes.

Her eyes burn through you like cigarettes

Just a brief, fluttering glance from behind a painted fan (it shields more than you'd think)

And it's as though she's puncturing your soul

That delicate, melancholy thing— she penetrates it in an instant

Of course, she looks away quickly

Turns aside with a soft rustle of crimson silk, embroidered blood flowing against her cream-pale skin

Your mind becomes obscured with hazy, iridescent smoke

Fuck, you think, maybe

— maybe

You might just be in love.


End file.
